written and photographed for Residency on the Farm’s Journal of Thank You 2020
As a teenager, like most teenagers, I was trying to figure out who I was, my place in the world. But because I didn’t have much self-awareness, nor a vocabulary to begin to assess that lack of self-awareness, I didn’t necessarily know that I was trying to figure out who I was — that I was in the process of unearthing an identity, an essence. What I did have was a CD player and a stack of pirated punk rock records. I didn’t leave the house without a pair of plastic headphones slung around my neck. I listened to music at the bus stop and on the way to school. I snuck the headphones through my sweater sleeve and listened to music in class. I listened to music at the dinner table, and in bed, under the covers. When I couldn’t articulate myself or my feelings, the music did it for me. Through my headphones, I was learning about my anger, and frustration, and shame, and pleasure, and pain. Of course, I didn’t realize this at the time. I thought I was just rocking out.
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Shot with Fuji XT-2 / 56mm 1.2 (if I remember correctly)
